Six Impossible Things
The Wandering Games flyer
Welcome traveler! Walk within the Games, and be at peace. Leave Creation behind for a time and join our revels. You’ll see wonders found nowhere else, witness feats of skill, wit and strength performed by gods and men and those who are more, or less. Ride the Tipsy Behemoth, partake of gryphon drumsticks and spiced dreamwine at the Blatant Truth Tavern, and enjoy the spectacle of minstrels and tumblers to your heart’s content. Enjoy all our mysteries and wonders! But be warned: all entities are welcome, and the Aegis of the Games will enforce the peace. No violence outside of sanctioned tournament events will be tolerated. Keep your temper in check and your sword in its sheath as the Aegis of the Games can be…temperamental. So stay a while and enjoy, leave your cares behind you, and take away warm, golden memories when you leave. Welcome to the Wandering Games!
(Entry fee two pennies of jade or silver and a genuine laugh)
Events, Tournaments and Performances:
The Lords of the Carnival call all worthy entities to compete for the Wyldstar! Circles and individuals must register with the Majordomo of the Games; tournament rankings will be determined after all entrants are announced. Combatants will compete until five circles or individuals remain for the Grand Melee. By decree of the Games, the winning circle will claim the Wyldstar and be granted an audience with Sunflower Cut and Pressed, a master dreamcrafter of the Duchy of Mirrors. She will forge the dream of the victor and cast it into the Wyldstar, preserved green and perfect for all time. All entrants must present an exertion of will preserved in honey to secure a slot in the tournament.
Grandmaster Still Heron invites all who walk the Road of the Empty Hand to display their skill and to earn his favor. Competitors will vie in single combat until two champions are chosen to compete in the championship. The entity who wins Still Heron’s favor will receive the Seven Scrolls of Masterful Action, written in the Grandmaster’s own hand. The Grandmaster has declared the entry fee to be the memory of a single perfect blossom set in amethyst or amber.
The Mistress of Prism and Glass shall hold a tea ceremony competition for all worthy entities. She has proclaimed the theme of the competition to be “Greeting the Gods and Devils” and will award a token of her favor and a swarm of weaver spiders trained by her own hand to the victor. The entry fee is compassionate words to a child distilled into perfume or musk.
Baron Malaprop has put forward the life’s work of his finest weaver as reward for the best debater in Creation or beyond. The Robes of the Hierophant shall go to the most persuasive speaker who can cogently present their case on the subject of whether purple is better than green, or vice versa. For an entry fee he asks only for five words, spoken with conviction, backed by the desire to succeed.
The Itinerant Knight has proposed a new competition for the Games! All warriors possessing talent with the blade are invited to compete in a test of skill and grace. The Itinerant Knight will judge the fighting spirit of the combatants in this challenge that is one of nerve and bravery as much as it is of martial skill. The winner shall be awarded three bottles of dreamwine from the Knight’s own vineyards, the Swordsman’s Token, and a haiku composed to commemorate their victory. The Itinerant Knight asks all competitors to bring a battle cry distilled in harsh liquor to serve as their entry fee.
Lord Summerisle shall host the archery competition, offering his Marksman’s Goggles to the victor. All long ranged weapons and techniques are legal! Competitors must prove themselves in a variety of feats of speed, accuracy and nerve, and must supply their own ammunition. Lord Summerisle asks for nothing more than patience, dried and preserved in salt by way of entry fee.
Lady Byword has brought a wondrous target gallery from her estate, a self-contained room of clockwork targets and simulated battle for those who wish to demonstrate their skill. To the best shot at the Games, the Lady has offered her artisans and precious materials sufficient to improve and ennoble even the most humble of weapons, as well as the Artful Monocle. Interested parties please take note: due to the short ranges involved in this portable gallery, only those who wield thrown weapons or short ranged firearms will be permitted to compete. She has requested the donation of one hour of focused study cast into a frame of crystal from all who wish to compete.
River Titan welcomes all who revel in mounted combat to gather on the Mourning Green to display their skill! To the champion it offers pick of its stables, as well as custom-made tack, bridle and barding. Entrants must supply their own mount and present River Titan with an earthen jug filled with pure water and heartfelt regret to enter the contest.
The Howling Darkness will host a competition to determine the very best of non-sentient critters. Trainers, owners and sorcerers, bring your favorite creatures to the arena for judging. Pets, familiars, created life and summoned abominations from beyond Creation are all welcome. Entrants must present their animal for inspection along with crystallized ginger and a summer morning to reserve a place in the contest. The winner shall receive two bottles each of dreamwine and butterfly wine from his private reserve.
The Demon of the Crossing invites all clever entities to take up the Hunt! Find the Demon and offer three witty retorts and wounded pride in exchange for the List. First entity to complete the List stands to win the Liberty of the Crossing.
Lady n’Xev’klagh’s drones have erected a race course for the quick, agile and determined. Interested parties may contact any of her drones, or register in person at the race course along the edge of the Mourning Green. Entrants must provide one cunning plan woven into silk to register. To the winner she offers the Huntsman’s Cloak.
The brothers Gog and Magog challenge all who attend the Games to prove their strength. Show your power, impress your friends, terrify your rivals, and reap the reward! Pay five jade pennies and a moment of arrogance to the brothers for free access to all games of strength. The strongest entity at the Games stands to win the legendary Wrecking Maul.
Games of Chance! Two jade bits and a kind word spoken in haste grants access to the games of chance. Try your luck and you might come away a winner! And if you’re interested in higher stakes you won’t want to miss the Dragon’s Coils tournament where players compete for fame and riches. The Marquis of Raven’s Tower headlines the tournament and has staked his hive of patchwork wasps on defeating all comers.
The Motley Masque has erected a pavilion for those who wish to engage in games of skill. Come challenge grandmasters of your favorite game. Or sit down for a lighthearted competition with friends! Admittance is ten coins of silver and one sunset. In addition, the Motley Masque has staked the Nightforge Resonator as an open challenge: Anyone who can best him in two consecutive games of Go shall walk away with the prize!
Lady Light and Lord Dark present the Magnificent and Sprightly Tale of Wit and Wisdom! Can you face the Light and answer the Lady’s questions both trivial and troublesome? Or will you step into the Dark and entertain enigmas and revel in riddles posed by the Lord? Joining the Lady on stage for as long as you can answer correctly will cost three nightshade petals and a dagger with a hilt bound in nightmare. The Lord asks only for three honeysuckle blossoms and a flask of nostalgia to join him until you are defeated. Lady Light has offered a Glass Cannon from her arsenal to the wisest participant, while Lord Dark offers a series of Adamant Refusals from his own workshops to the most clever.
In the shadows under the race course on the Mourning Green, look for the Darkling Saint. For a pickled dream of pride and one left glove, he will show you into his dim domain. Treasure hunts, feats of memory and perception, and a gauntlet of trials for the dexterous await. To the finest thief, liar or bully at the Games, the Darkling Saint offers the Gloves of Destabilization.
Performers of all types, welcome to the Wandering Games! Whether you wish license to perform on the grounds or to enter the competition, seek out the Great Filiberto Wallace, scop to princesses and queens, herald of glad tidings, skald extraordinaire and headmaster at the House of Song. Troupes interested in competing against bands of other entertainers must register early! Registration requires a single tear and a painful goodbye, as well as an audition with the Great Filiberto Wallace. To the winner, the Great Filiberto Wallace offers his finest sculpture to date: The Completely Normal and Not Menacing In Any Way Pillar of Black Stone.
Gourmands, Gastronomes and Gluttons, come one come all! Consume your weight in sweetmeats and win a prize! Eat the Largest Pie, or be the fastest to drain the Bitter Cup! See the Gilded Fop for more information, but do be a love and bring a steak and kindness pie when you do. The most accomplished glutton will win the Stick of Eyes.
Captain Deadlock calls on all salty dogs to enter the Regatta! From tiny insect powered dinghies to intricate remote-piloted frigates, enter your model boat today! Competitors may enter any sort of wind powered vessel no larger than three feet in any direction. The only rule is that the ship’s owner cannot directly touch the vessel. To the creator of the finest, the fastest and most importantly the surviving ship, Deadlock offers The Fanciest Hat! Bring your boat and a bottle of crushed pearls, rum and remembrance to the Captain’s Table to register.
Lord Whimsy has decreed that the finest bakers, chefs and sauciers shall battle to the death for his amusement! While not an actual battle to the death, and while a saucier is not, in fact, a type of cook, Lord Whimsy is indeed sponsoring a cook off. Entrants must enter a dish in either Savory or Sweet categories. The best chef from each category wins the right to compete for the Malleable Narwhal. Best chef walks away with the prize! Please present your dish along with a jar of homemade fear, terror or horror to enter.
Music! Delight to bards, minstrels, actors and tumblers! All interested performers must register with the Great Filiberto Wallace.
Adventure! Thrill to the Death Defying Dragon! Laugh and revel with the Octopus Follies! Careen wildly on the Tipsy Behemoth! Soar and swoop on the back of the Shadow Eagle! (All rides cost one jade penny and a promise.)
Treasure! Craftsmen from all over Creation have set out their wares just for you! Marvel at dreams spun from sugar and silk, or gods peddling divine trinkets. Or attend the Night Markets; after the sun sets a few intrepid ghostly merchants will sell the mysteries of death itself. No matter what your heart’s desire, you can find it somewhere among the market stalls of the Wandering Games. Parties interested in space must purchase a license from the Majordomo of the Games.
Food! Whether you stop off at the Blatant Truth Tavern or simply grab a mug from a wandering brewer, the Wandering Games will sate your appetites:
The Blatant Truth Tavern – Nothing but the truth here! This fully functional brewery and kitchen serves food and drink with a side of obvious prophecy.
Zipa! – A curious concoction of dough, cheese and love apples, served on a stick. Look for the small brick oven on a cart near the river.
Mugs ’n Stuff – Elash of Trinu crafts unique drinking vessels for each customer, and brews his own variety of ales and mead to put in them!
Nexus Nosh – For the cosmopolitan traveler, Nexus Nosh caters to all tastes. Try the Bastion Fish for a touch of class, or grab a bowl of Firewander Stew to really rough it.
Grapes and Grain by the Gallon – Dealing primarily in bulk wine and ale casks, this boutique also holds hourly tastings for a jade penny and a song. Don’t miss their ’45 Plains of Sorrow cabernet!
Bit ’o Gem – Craving something sweet? Chef Nightblossom crafts beautiful gems, fabulous animals and towering structures all from sugar. This sweet shop is not to be missed!
Rathess Recipes – For the carnivore in all of us! Rathess Recipes specializes in meat. Everything from a turkey leg to raw claw strider by the pound can be found in its cases and the grills, ovens and griddles are hot every hour of the day.
Liquid Love – Everything from pure spring water to coffee, grape juice to cider can be found among the crystal bottles and hissing brew pots of the tiny Liquid Love tent. Look for the colorful banner near the Mourning Green.